The 173rd Way to Get Out of Jury Duty

Write a blog.

Yes, write a blog, but not just any blog — post something that makes it indisputably clear that you don’t believe in jury duty — and then circulate it on Twitter, Facebook and, of course, LinkedIn.

Get the word out there, let the electronic buzz precede you into the court room.

Then, 80% of getting out of jury duty is just showing up.

And when you do, be sure to

  1. wear a full beard, here are reviews of beard oil to achieve it,
  2. flash your college credentials (advanced degrees are extra good disqualifiers) and
  3. dress for gardening.

The Marin County Superior Court has summoned me for jury duty on January 29th.  When I got the notice in the mail I went to my computer and asked Google, Yahoo and Bing how to get out of jury duty.  In their respective first pages of results they returned 171 ways. Not bad.

I came up with one more way on my own (when I count beyond 17 I lose track and have to start over – should work).  And of course this post is itself the 173rd meta-way.

John Muir

John Muir Patron Saint of Marin County

Meta-post post script:  at left is portrait of

John Muir,

Patron Saint of Marin County and 3 for 3:

full beard,
published writer, and
dressed for gardening.
 

Peter Neibert

Peter Neibert's work in progress is FloralDesignbyYukiko.com.. He appointed himself Webmaster (he really likes the title) and lays-out site and page design, flower and flower arrangement photography, photo editing and copy writing, as well as print brochures. He takes pictures of Marin County California landscape and wildlife, prints some, and publishes some on the web, including his new blog Story Pictures

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  4 comments for “The 173rd Way to Get Out of Jury Duty

  1. January 18, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    Coincidentally, I’ve been called for jury duty on Jan. 25th. In New York State, they are very strict about excusing people. Maybe we shouldn’t try to avoid it. Consider it a civic duty.

  2. January 18, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    You are right to consider it a civic duty only if you believe in jury trials (aka the jury system)and many people do. I don’t.
    I believe that so-called “benchtrials” (trials by a judge) return superior justice to the system, which is to say, the people.

    In Medieval England the King appointed judges who served at his pleasure, subject to hiss obvious influence, etc.
    In the year 970 A.D.(more or less, I wasn’t there) the nobles rose up against the King, Ethelred the Unready, demanded a jury system of peers (meaning themselves)and borrowed the number 12, as it was used by Viking tribal councils across the North Sea.

    In modern America our judges are elected by the people for a fixed term of years, they are subject to recall or impeachment and individual cases are subject to appeal or review.
    I maintain this is preferable to Ethelred’s deal-cutting, quasi-Viking raider/peers.
    I think most people have forgotten that is where the jury system comes from — a power play against Ethelred the Unready, who was nonetheless ready to cut a deal.

  3. Jeff
    January 19, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    I got out of jury duty because I could not afford to be paid $5 / day for days, weeks, months. And even though rarely do cases go for months, mostly a week to ten days, I couldn’t afford a single day off with the cost of living so high and need to make payments on cars, house, etc. Also, the trial I was involved in was a murder trial in which one gang member shot another. Since gang members by and large are law breakers, immoral, and unethical, and since my wife and son had been threatened by gang members, there was no way I was going to give this guy a fair trial. Fair, that’s a joke. This guy uses intimidation and threats like other thugs and he expects a fair trial. The “system” works a certain way, depending mostly on the political leanings of the judge. And far too often the system is liberal and literally lets people get away with murder. There’s a lot right with our country and the system, but there’s a lot wrong too, especially the way in which the main offenders often times get the biggest breaks. Now THAT’S not fair, is it?

  4. January 28, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    Bad news: my jury duty was cancelled — apparently due to lack of interest. This means I’ve not been able to test out my 173rd way — well, maybe next year.
    pcn

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